Nobody Told Me …


With warm gratitude to Bellator Dei for the graphic.


All that time living outside the Church as a member of the New Age community of Findhorn

All those long years and

Nobody told me …

What the Church really was.

Nobody told me …

That the Sacraments could pierce my heart. My hardened heart.

Nobody told me …

What it was to feel cleansed by absolution via a priest. That fresh sensation of having my insides washed.

Nobody told me …

What it was to kneel and pray.

Nobody told me …

The feeling inside of the Sacraments working daily.

Nobody told me …

How in times of suffering, nothing, nothing helped like these Sacraments.

Nobody told me …

How underneath a self-satisfied veneer, how messed-up I really was.

Nobody told me …

How the Redeemer would take this “messed-upness” and (day by day by day) begin to rewire a wholesomeness into me, unlike anything I had known before.

Nobody told me …

That beyond the New Age “Power Centres” of Findhorn, Glastonbury et al. there was Lourdes, Paray-le-Monial et al. whose Power was not only far greater, but very different.

Nobody told me …

That at the altars of Catholic Churches, a sublime Mystery was being enacted every day.

Nobody told me …

That beyond the confines of “Universal” Spirituality (so-called), there was another UNIVERSE, unglimpsed.

Nobody told me …

That there were beings, people, groups actively engaged in making sure this universe was not glimpsed (Years later, I met a man of some influence. He confided his aspiration to me, that all the churches in his Catholic country might become community centres, where all the Masses would be eliminated. He at least knew the Mass was powerful – and he did not like it.)

Nobody told me …

That burying the Catholic Mystery, rendering it invisible, had been the project of centuries.

Nobody told me …

That project – generally speaking – had been most effective in Anglophone cultures (Ireland excepted) and somewhat less so in France and Spain.

Nobody told me …

That in the future, I would come to find the Most Precious Thing of all sacramentally manifested within this Catholic Mystery like nowhere else.

Nobody told me …

That people died for THIS and still die. (Will there be New Age martyrs, someday?)

And …

If they had told me…

It is likely I would never have believed them.

UPDATE 2017: Since the above was posted, I have started a YouTube channel with videos where I address all this. Below is one, talking about my life at Findhorn and my conversion to the Catholic Faith. (And below that are adverts for two of my books talking of the New Age and Catholicism which have recently been published by Angelico Press.)


Books by Roger Buck. Click to buy from Amazon



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  1. Mel
    Posted 3 February 2011 at 18:54 | Permalink

    Hi Roger,

    Just sending love & greetings to yourself & Kim for the New Year, after a long absence from seeing your site. I haven’t had a chance to read your book extract yet, but have read your last few posts. Just to say it’s great to see you really pulling the strands of your thinking together and moving forward with your work. The two of you have built up a really valuable body of thought, reflection, spiritual practice and intention on this site already, so I wish full wind in your sails for the next phase!

    Just a few comments on your work from an outsider and from a distance, in case it’s useful : 1). In the 3 or 4 years or so since you started making your Dire Predictions about the effects of rampant capitalism as a Dark Wave kind of overtaking the world, the world recession and all its huge, heartbreak causes and consequences mean it does look like your predictions are largely coming true, and obviously the related and ultimate ecological threat only looms ever larger ahead of us. 2.) I think your plan to make your type of Catholicism simply more ‘Visible’ is an excellent one. I agree with you that it’s little known, seen or understood, whether by Christians, New Agers or secular people.

    3.) Excuse the simple term but I do think there’d be more ‘takers’ for it if it was known and visible. 4.) Because for instance I agree with your implication that a lot of New Agers do actually believe in Angels and Evil forces/beings/energies, etc. as objective realities rather than just metaphors. So on that sliver of ground anyway they’re there already!

    Lots of love for now,

    • Posted 4 February 2011 at 14:44 | Permalink

      Dear Marella, thank you most warmly for all of this.

      Also please forgive me that one more personal paragraph about your plans etc got deleted. It was not because of firm intention to do so. I was looking at it – wondering if it was best for public consumption, highlighted it – and then somehow I lost it!

      Still I have registered it and what remains is more generally relevant and contains meaningful material for this site.

      For yes, I agree, it is strangely true that both New Agers and more traditional Catholics are clear in their belief in the supernatural.

      There is “a sliver of ground” as you put it that is lost on many liberal Catholics and Protestants, who it seems to me have bought more into the materialistic ideology that so often goes with secular culture and thus feel more comfortable with notions like “metaphors” rather than objective truth.

      As for more visibility, this site will be going through a little revolution soon, unless I miss my guess. And a hint about that will be posted as a webburst soon …

      Again warmly thanking you for all of this, friend of old …

  2. Deborah
    Posted 8 November 2014 at 18:12 | Permalink


    I have just found you from my Google search for the Findhorn book, Opening Doors Within, and you have really caught my attention. Thank you.

    I can’t seem to find a link to your USA Amazon store. Can you provide a link for me if it’s still active?

    I don’t know exactly where all this leads me, but I am excited. I have been attracted to the The Camino de Santiago, too! I wonder what your thoughts are on this?

    Blessings and greetings!

  3. Tamsin
    Posted 22 October 2015 at 16:53 | Permalink

    I agree that Scotland is ina bit of a mess with regard to the Mass, and parts of the West country, but by and large the Catholic Church in England is in a better state than in France – the age of our priests for example is something that French visitors frequently comment upon favourably.

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